I’ll be damned that I have a 2MB hotmail account. I used to have a 2GB account at one point but hotmail had decided to convert mine into a 2MB account due to my “questionable” method of getting the 2GB in the first place. =P
I am in dire need of cleaning up my inbox as it currently stands at being 63% full. I am going on a trip for about 10 days next week and will not have any internet access. The last thing I want is an overloaded inbox by the time I get back.
Anyhow, sorting through my old emails was like viewing a timeline of events that has transpired in my life. Looking at the dates, the subject headers and some of the emails I’ve received, I recount all the experiences I have had in my turbulent 3 years. I would have never imagined such results to be honest, never would I have had thought that it would all come to this.
Reading responses like this during the happiest moments of my life really make me wonder to be honest.
Friday, July 2, 2004
You have always been there when I need you and you have always been my pillar of support. I want to thank you for that. As to finding it comfortable to speak to me, I guess I am your soul mate. Someone you can pour out your heart to and someone you can speak freely to knowing that I love you and have your best interest in my heart. I am so happy that you love me as a great friend.
She is cute. You are right. You looked so relaxed and happy in those photos. I am so happy for you. I really am. Looking at those photos made me miss you a lot though. I felt it’s been so long since I last saw you. I still remebered the night before I left clearly. Thanks for spending the whole night with me. I greatly appreciated that. You of all people deserve happiness in your life. She does look like the right person for you. Don’t doubt yourself. Have some faith. You are a great person and the girl who gets you is very lucky. You are able to let go now. That is the greatest thing ever, that happens right now: You are happy and you are yourself now. I am speechless at the change of you.
This is a partial excerpt of the response that I got from my first love when I told her that I’ve finally found the one I’ve truly fallen madly in love with.
Has it been that long? Its been already a year and a half since I got that email from her. Who could have imagined the things I went through after that period?
Honestly, I think I am living quite an interesting life. I am sure that those who have been bothered to read my entries will attest, have been pretty emo-driven and nuts. Yet to many, it may seem like an odd and somewhat lonely life but with what I’ve gone through and experienced, I wouldn’t trade it for the whole world. As much as it sometimes hurts trying to get the “love of a lifetime” plan to actually work but I actually enjoy this little debacle I got myself into, to be honest.
The girl I am currently after is what I’ve always called “my spice of life”. I’ve always retorted to my friends that she was well worth the trouble I had gone through. She will forever stay in my mind and will always be. She will be the source of my strength and I will achieve what I’ve set for.
There are other emails in here as well. I’ll list the notable one’s that strike me as interesting.
I had an email from a colleague of mine who was so fed-up being overseas and was asking for my advice on whether or not she should stay on. After much discussion, she went home to her country and I’ve not heard from her since.
This next email is special. This one is special because it was the first time in my life that I was pursued by someone who I thought I could end up with, if I decided to accept her request. Yet as all you readers know, my heart belongs to someone else.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Hey guy! O-GENKI DESU KA? This is “Courtney” lah !!
1st: I felt very sorry I had offended you so much ~ SUMIMASEN
2nd: I would like to invite you and your “friend” to attend to prom night lah (next Friday oh)..!! Don’t be surprise for this offer k..~IRASSHAI
3rd: I would say that this would be final “meeting” or “farewell “with u guys lah..~DO ITASHIMASHITE
Last: Thank you and takecare!! ~ JAA NE
“Courtney” (She had request forgiveness from someone!!!)
The events that transpired a week after this email?
Simply put, a lot of pain. A LOT. I probably went a bit koo koo after that Friday night to be honest. She doesnt email me anymore. She did continue to pursue me about a year after that email but lately, she’s been silent. I am sure she has found someone that is deserving of her love and is definitely a lot more happy with him than she ever could with me.
If that is true, I am happy for “Courtney”. I wish her all the best that life can offer to her and hope that she has finally found true happiness with that guy she is with.
Thank you for the memories, I’ll never forget you. Please forgive me for posting this email online but I really do cherish the weird assed memory I have with you. It has definitely made my life a lot more interesting. =)
As for the year 2005, well, there are too plenty of interesting emails. Plenty to the point of me not being to explain all of them but 2005 in summary looked more like a year where I was actually so focused on my career that I more or less forgot about living. A lot of emails in that year points to a period in time that I was so focused on self-improvements for the sole purpose of attaining a better position/job/etc.
Not a good sight, not a good one at all.
Did it work? I guess it did, seeing that I’ve accomplished what I had somewhat set out to do in the first place. Really, I can’t complain.
As for 2006?
Sigh….At least it’s now 36% full. I seriously hope that the remaining 64% will be enough.
Wish me luck!