Recently, I’ve been listening to a lot of old (ouch) R&B songs from the late 90′s and all I can say is, wow, I can’t believe the state of the current music industry.

Whatever happen to smooth, easy listening R&B music with actual lyrics?

All we’ve got nowadays is songs about being cool at the club, sleeping with as many partners as humanly possible, binge drinking and blinging one’s self to the max. With the rising popularity of raving and the clubbing scene, all I can see that it is just going to get worse as all these forms of music to me are like a form of sonic invasion into my brain that I do not want.

I mean sure, contemporary music does indeed have a place in the space of all things but to me, these song of songs are only good in small chunks to which I am only contented to hear them in short commercial sound bits of about 20 seconds and not in their fully 3 minute representations of pure nonsensical hell.

I miss the days when music was kind of cheesy and naive, lyrically and melodically. I miss the days when the all you see in music videos are just a bunch of guys standing around singing their song, whilst attempting to serenade their love where as nowadays you get videos where its over-sexualized and just utterly strange (I’m looking at you Lady Gaga).

It seems to me that present new-school music nowadays is more or less how much bass you can produce into the music without blowing up your listeners speakers and how fast you can get away with faster BPMs.
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I’ve been reviewing some of my older posts from my previous wordpress.com blog and have decided to share some of the most personal and depressing writings I’ve ever made.

I know that it was strange for me to write all those posts over the years but reading them now…I must say…I was pretty demented…Compelling…but just kind of sad.

However, the true reason I’ve decided to un-private them is simply because I love the writing styles in each of the posts. I am amazed at the raw quality and the way the text flows as those posts were truly just flowing out of my mind and on to this digital medium.

To somewhat quote someone who had requested me to do this all this years, yeah, I’ve ironically created a Journal, albeit being far too late for anyone to care.

I’m so looking forward to seeing what else I come up with in the coming months. =)

People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.

      — Epictetus

Hello and welcome back to the al-holic blog.

I know it has been a long hiatus since my last post but after encountering certain events in my day to day activities in life, I felt compelled once more to write about my thoughts and point of views towards the observed life I have.

For those who had previously seen my older posts, fret not as my feelings of depression and low self-worth is more or less been “re-adjusted” into much more positive forms of expressions. In other words, I’m not likely to go on an insane downward spiral of depressing expressions of text, which I suspect is kind of lame.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Are we humans truly ever Happy?

Before I go into my tirade of text, my answer is no.

If I were to attempt to justify the reason as to why we cannot, most would probably dis-spell this and just call me a sad, lonely man that probably doesn’t know what happiness really is.

In some ways, I’d be inclined to agree with that point of view, however, happiness is fleeting. Happiness to me is like getting a rush from something (i.e biological chemical stimulation) that leads to a short lived form of euphoria.

Like much addictions, once that “high” is gone, one’s self worth plummets as one attempts to achieve the next “high”. I look at happiness like this and I cannot comprehend the lifestyles and decisions that people make to either find happiness or fit the typical happiness profile as created by society at large.

What is Happiness in regards to the expectation of Society?

• Winning the lottery. (Material Happiness and the overbearing fear of losing it all.)
• Getting Married. (Conformity to the expectations of Society as well as a sign of Biological Prowess)
• Getting a great and highly paid job. (Self enforced slavery and conforming to the expectations of Society)
• Buying a big house and a nice car. (Again Material Happiness and conforming to the Status Quo requirements of Society)
• Having Kids. (Again Biological Prowess and confining oneself to a life that’s very challenging and difficult in terms of lateral movement)
• Going on vacations to exotic locations. (Status Quo and feeling the need to flaunt one’s resources to Society)
• Buying the latest and greatest gadgets. (Compensating for one’s own self-worth by artificially feeling the void by attempting to join the cool crowd created by Society)
• Going on a huge shopping spree. (Compulsive Behavior conditioned by the ill-defined term of “Retail Therapy”, which causes over spending and waste with no true therapeutical benefits other than buyers remorse due to over-spending.)
• And much, much more.

Happiness is something so broadly scoped and quite ambiguously defined that I find it almost an impossibility that happiness does exist. I see so many people going through their lives thinking that their happy but looking beneath the surface, all I see is drudgery  and a life that’s pretty much unfulfilled.

I suspect to many that the following rings true even though they believe that they are happy.

• There always isn’t enough money.
• I wish I had more time to spend on my own projects.
• I wish I did not have to work in an Office with other colleagues.
• I wish I had spent more time with my Kids as they are growing up.
• I wish I was the boss calling the shots.
• I wish I had a better life and a true purpose in it.
• I am not living my dreams.
• I did not expect my life to turn out this way. (For better or worse)
• What can I do? This is life and I have to accept it.

Personally, I’ve always been quite an odd one when it comes to my interpretation of life. My philosophy has changed in the past few years and I’ve come to the conclusion that the best solution is to just live life simply.

Quick and easy is what I say, why burden yourself by requiring to sacrifice yourself just to fit in to Society? If this is the only life we have, why should we make ourselves miserable by hiding our true selves just so we can get that placebo feeling of acceptance and happiness from others?

Why can’t we ourselves define the scopes and requirements of Happiness and not have to consider the ramifications of the judgments of others? Being ostracized from Society could actually be a good thing for I feel that Society at large has turned into somewhat hostile beast to those it does not recognize, as good as your intentions maybe.

In closing, I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “So al-holic, since you sound like a smart ass and know it all, why don’t you then tell us, how do we find happiness, if you’d be so inclined?”.

My answer is, sadly, “I don’t know”.

All I can say ultimately in the end concerning my definition and desire for happiness is, do not be a hypocrite, treat others as you want them to treat you and as always, try to not take everything too personally and move on as quickly as possible.

I think I am the happiest when I am doing work and projects that I am interested in and do not like to report to people that I do not find any respect for. There have been very few people that I’ve met that I tremendously respect in life and I am sadden that the possibility of ever feeling fulfilled by it has somewhat long passed.

I leave you now with a quote that I found quite stimulating to my mind that I hope will also allow you to question the things we consider common in life.

The man who trims himself

to suit everybody will soon

whittle himself away.

       — Charles Schwab

Thank you for reading this post. Do please comment on what you define as Happiness. Oh and by the way, it is nice to be back. =)